Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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