My liver just broke up with me...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
