Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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