I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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