all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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