My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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