We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
