Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
