Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
