Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
