I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
