I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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