Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
