I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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