I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
