David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
