i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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