I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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