just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
