So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
