Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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