Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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