i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
