so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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