I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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