please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
