I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize