just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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