Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.