the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?