She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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