you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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