Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
