summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
