Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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