champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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