My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
