I love black thongs
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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