not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So vagazzling was a success
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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