She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
