sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
