I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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