I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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