I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
