I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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