did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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