So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
