I just made out with a guy for $7.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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