Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
