were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
