I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize