He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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