I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
