a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize