Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
foreskin is a definite game changer
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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