Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He better not be in your backpack
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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