He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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