I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its not stalking. its research.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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