apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
