East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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