were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize