just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I look better un-naked...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
