In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
