i don't like sucking hair
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
